Siddhant Mahajan has just come back from the coffee break that lasted for almost 21 minutes, much longer than he expected; he was mulling over many thoughts while sipping the hot cuppa. Along the aisle of many cubicles while he was returning to his seat, he could notice, his Manager was taking his name to address something urgent. But to the contrary of popular opinion, he stepped back; he went back for a smoke break, as if the coffee break was not enough!!
That is Sid! His habit of going against the grain is deep inside him now. He knew why his manager wanted to talk to him. It was to inform him about the news of his promotion to the next level. But he was not excited about this. Sid has already made his mind to resign, not for better career prospects; but to take the road to self-actualization. He seeks something out of his life, but he does not know what that is; he believes, unless he discovers that, he will not become happy in life. And happiness for him is peace of mind.
“I have to break away from everything now", looking the vanishing smoke Sid thought. In fact he had. He is willing to throw away all his everything now. A blossoming career of good 7 years; his friends he used to hang out and his beloved Anjali with whom he dreamt of spending his life together. She had broken up with him, once she became aware of his decision to shy away from the common path.
“Get married to your self-actualization", those were her last words to him, while leaving in the midst of a dinner they had a few days back.
His friends have already dubbed him a psychopath. Several stood by, but eventually vanished.
Sid was aware of all the repercussions of his actions. "After all, sacrifices are to be made", he asserted to himself. He was not happy to lose people like this; but then he was not happy with everyone around him either, this way!
In no time, Sid applied for a week leave alongside his notice of three months.
“Would you care to tell me?” his boss almost yelled," That what had driven such insanity in you".
“As I mentioned Deb; it is entirely personal. And it is well thought out; I want to be on my own", sipping the seventh cup of coffee for the day Sid continued,” I know it looks foolhardy; but I have to do this".
He left for the day early, and without realising how much he drove; almost 30 to 35 kilometres while making it to the Wazirabad Bridge over Yamuna River. He suddenly reduced the speed so as to feel the river flowing, endangered by the latest summer spike and rainy season. He has been residing in Delhi from the last 10 years now; he felt this is the first time he has come closer to nature; at the very moment he thought even the proximity to nature is artificial now as there was a bizarre cacophony in the surrounding created by the noise of vehicles and nature's fury. Or that was nature's reaction to the endless human atrocity on it.
It was 7 in the evening, though the Sun was about to set; its orangey glow gradually diminishing; the current of Yamuna glowing to perfection, exuberating a beautiful sight for Sid. To enjoy the sight, he first tried a Marlboro light; the smoke however was acting as a deterrent to the nature’s presence by the river bridge; the casual touch of the wind on his cheek and on his fingers giving him the same irksome experience when he unknowingly pointed his cig to his thumb and pressed tightly; Sid felt nature’s vengeance over his smoking; At length, he threw the cig into the river, as if releasing the bone of contention from his life. He tried to think through; when he left for Dehradoon in the evening, he had no plans; he felt like his school days touching him back, during those times he was as careless as he is today; without goals and mission; hopeless and retarded out of sordid expectations.
“How will I explain to Maa and Dad”, the sound of fury in the concerns of his parents echoed to him which surpassed the tranquillity of the beautiful evening nearby the river. “Perhaps I will tell them that due to recession in US, my entire team was laid off”, while contemplating this lie, he passed on a smirk to himself, that he had a proven track record of being a lousy liar. At the same time, one thought sloshed through his mind, along with the dipper of a car passing by, “We can so easily let the truth out to our friends; but the moment we think about our Parents and Family, we take the bypass”, Sid was fearful about his actions; more so he did not have any alternative plan to justify his actions. He could not decide a planned agenda for his parents; he resumed driving, with the hope that his parents will understand his situation and support his actions, which was in fact a consolation he tried to derive out of his inability to draw any well thought agenda.
Sid continued driving, along the road through Ghazipur Border, he touched NH 58. It took almost 45 to 50 minutes to cross this distance on account of heavy traffic and the roads that give the commuters a bumpy ride; this despite paying tolls and taxes! This brought to his mind various images of his own life; “A ridiculed ride so far”, he said. He was not able to make out, whether he was referring to his drive down the highway or the ride he had taken so far in his life. He thought, so far life has taken him to a ride;
He tuned into the radio; some oldies were being aired; he started thinking again; about his life! He would rather give his life a ride, with clear knowledge and conviction. But till then he seemed to be having left his purpose somewhere. I want to regain my purpose of living! “To salve my credit and for very spite”, verses of Paradise Regained surfaced his mind. He shrugged his qualm, thinking! Before regaining it; one must go through losing the paradise once.
Driving for another 45 minutes, he stopped to have something on a roadside dhaba. It was around 9:30 in the night. Had he been accompanied by some of his compatriots for this ride, he would have halted for some drinks and dinner; now as he sleuthed such company for a reason, he must not lament losing their fun-frolic presence. That was a theoretical mid-summer night; with a slow wind blowing; the incessant honking of the trolleys and buses travelling at a speed much above the allowable limit was criss-crossing against the wind; the result was a irritating music to the ears; couple of unsummoned lightening and the increasing strength of the wind just jolted the food he ordered for his non-ceremonial dinner. The mineral water bottle which was open felt down and made the gravy of the yellow dal watery. He hardly cared; the passerby Sardarji gave a gaze and smirked at him. He just further winded out his cig ashes. The moon shied away that night; kept to itself and was letting the occasional lightening enjoy the glow.
His cell buzzed; it was his mother! “Why did you have to drive in the night?” she questioned his guts, “Tomorrow is a Saturday, you could have easily put off for tomorrow”, his mother echoed a concerned voice, which has been of course a routine during any conversation with Sid. The only child; so the family reservoir of love was harboured unto him with splendid spate of luxury.
“Maa”, Sid paused and could not speak. After rebutting self-control, he continued, “I am coming back; I am coming back home; I am coming back for good”, he had to use three different expressions to convey that he had left the big city of his dreams.
“Arrey; that’s okay baba! We can discuss that tomorrow; but tell me why you sound so pathetic?” that was again the heart of a mother which does not listen to logic or facts. For a moment Sid felt so good to hear the excitement in the voice of his mother, which was primarily driven by fear. But it took no time for him to realise that he just stole his mother’s sleep for that night. So he decided to restore the status-quo back by saying, “Nothing Maa! I was missing you guys so much. I just got tired of the city hoopla.” After sending her mother’s concerns packing, he hung up and continued driving.
Another 2 to 3 hours drive will lead him to his home town. He never wanted to leave his home town in the first place. “But stupid love”, he exclaimed in haste. In one off trips to Mussoorie, which was just a 50 minutes ride by bike from his home, he met Anjali who was travelling from Delhi with her friends.
It was an unusual stroke of destiny that they both met.
